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Monday, January 09, 2006

Adjusting

Dear Daughter is adjusting well to the addition of her Dear Brother. I frequently think she is adjusting better than I am. We've been telling her from the beginning that "Babies just cry." Last Friday, Dear Son "just cried" all day long. Fuss fuss fuss fuss. I was at my wit's end by late afternoon, which Dear Daughter could sense. She has always been very in tune to what is going on with me. While I was frazzled to the max, Dear daughter appeared relatively unfazed. "It's okay, Mommy," she reassured me, "sometimes babies just cry." I looked at her with disbeleif and pride. My two-year-old...giving me a pep talk.

I have tried very hard to keep her routine the same as BZ (before Zachary). For example, I still read her stories at bedtime and snuggle with her for a few minutes after turning out the light. A few times I've had to cut the routine short to manage Dear Son's needs, but I try to never skip the routine for Dear Daughter. When I do have to hurry it up to tend to Dear Son, I feel bad to cut Dear Daughter short. I try not to "blame" it on Dear Son, but when he's been crying and Dear Daughter knows it, I will sometimes tell her I need to go take care of Zachary. I am sensitive to what I say and how I say it because I don't want her to resent him or feel second choice. The other night I was tucking her into bed and I was NOT in a hurry. Dear Son wasn't crying, and I didn't feel rushed. I barely finished reading Dear Daughter her beloved stories and turned out the light when she said to me, "Can you go take care of Zachary?" That's when it hit me (not for the first time, I must admit) that my snuggles with her are sometimes more about my needs than her needs. I just want to hold onto her forever. God help her when she decides she doesn't "need" Mommy to squeeze her and kiss her anymore!

Yes, Dear Daughter seems to be adjusting just fine. And while my adjustment may be taking a bit longer, as long as I take my cues from her, I at least feel inspired that I will get there, too.

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