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Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Dr. Doo Doo

Speaking of knee deep (see previous post), I can't EVEN believe that I forgot to post the update on The Neighbors. Almost-eleven-year-old practically pounced on me in my driveway last weekend and announced proudly that Woolly Mammoth Dog had given birth. Of course I questioned just how many little poop factories she produced. THIRTEEN! I gasped in horror and squealed something like, "THIRTEEN! I didn't think that was even possible! THIRTEEN! You must be joking! How can a dog have THIRTEEN puppies? Are you SURE there were THIRTEEN?" I must've gone on for more than a reasonable amount of time with this, as Almost-Eleven-Year-Old backed away from me slowly, never taking her eyes off me, and she didn't respond to a single one of my questions or exclamations. I was having traumatic mental images of a steam hot summer with a yard full of smelly dog poop piles and flies buzzing. Husband called on his way to work this morning to tell me that he just saw a billboard for Dr. Doo Doo (not the one in the link, but same idea) and that we should pass a business card to The Neighbors. We are celebrating like crazy that we are moving in 10 days.

Folks, we now have 14 dogs, 3 cats, 5 kids, and two parents living in the 3 bedroom house an arm's length away from our own house. And they are renting. This landlord must be absolutely desperate. The only other tenants for the past 16 months were illegal Mexican aliens who lived there about 2 months before they were deported. Oh how we miss the elderly lady who smoked like a chimney and her little yappy dog that lived there for several years before selling her house to a rental company.

I managed to go to sleep without the Tylenol PM last night, but I'm sure that bottle of wine helped a little. I can't decide if my headache is due to a slight hangover, lack of sleep, stress, or a combination of all the above. It's a great way to start my day of therapy with dysfunctional adolescents. Ya think I should teach them some of my great coping skills?


Dana said...

At least you'll be out of there before the puppies get big enough to become an anoyance!

Tracy said...

I can't imagine having all of those living things under one roof! Some people just don't know when to quit!
You should be really greatful that the new people didn't come to see your house with thirteen puppies running around your yard! They'll meet them soon enough I'm suspecting!

Maternal Mirth said...

You should have a moving day countdown ... like a child counts down to Christmas.

BTW, Tylenol PM and Wine are the ONLY answer to 13 poop producing puppies!


jesse said...

I can't imagine that many animals and people living in one house. Here's praying that the people who buy your house will not discover this until after the sale. I know that sounds bad but you need to get away from there.

MGM said...

Maternal Mirth, Great idea! I think I'll just start making hash marks on the wall!

Tracy and Jesse, Yes, I am thrilled that the buyers either did not see the action going on next door or else it didn't sway them. And at this point it really wouldn't matter if they found out about it, the contract is set. Our loss is their gain (insert evil laugh) Wooohooooo!!!!!!!!!!

Nine days and counting!