Speaking of knee deep (see previous post), I can't EVEN believe that I forgot to post the update on The Neighbors. Almost-eleven-year-old practically pounced on me in my driveway last weekend and announced proudly that Woolly Mammoth Dog had given birth. Of course I questioned just how many little poop factories she produced. THIRTEEN! I gasped in horror and squealed something like, "THIRTEEN! I didn't think that was even possible! THIRTEEN! You must be joking! How can a dog have THIRTEEN puppies? Are you SURE there were THIRTEEN?" I must've gone on for more than a reasonable amount of time with this, as Almost-Eleven-Year-Old backed away from me slowly, never taking her eyes off me, and she didn't respond to a single one of my questions or exclamations. I was having traumatic mental images of a steam hot summer with a yard full of smelly dog poop piles and flies buzzing. Husband called on his way to work this morning to tell me that he just saw a billboard for Dr. Doo Doo (not the one in the link, but same idea) and that we should pass a business card to The Neighbors. We are celebrating like crazy that we are moving in 10 days.
Folks, we now have 14 dogs, 3 cats, 5 kids, and two parents living in the 3 bedroom house an arm's length away from our own house. And they are renting. This landlord must be absolutely desperate. The only other tenants for the past 16 months were illegal Mexican aliens who lived there about 2 months before they were deported. Oh how we miss the elderly lady who smoked like a chimney and her little yappy dog that lived there for several years before selling her house to a rental company.
I managed to go to sleep without the Tylenol PM last night, but I'm sure that bottle of wine helped a little. I can't decide if my headache is due to a slight hangover, lack of sleep, stress, or a combination of all the above. It's a great way to start my day of therapy with dysfunctional adolescents. Ya think I should teach them some of my great coping skills?