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Sunday, December 13, 2009

Moment of Truth

I opened my eyes to the rising sun this morning and looked to see if the familiar yellow curly head was sharing my pillow. Admittedly, I was pleased to see that it was, and I snuggled down into the blankets and as close to his little body as I dared, lest I wake him. I lay there gazing on his angelic sleeping face for a few moments and fought the overwhelming urge to kiss his cheek. And then I couldn't resist any longer, and I kissed him every so lightly. I wondered what a little curly yellow haired boy dreams about as I thanked God for the gift of this child who turned four years old today.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

What a precious four years. And how quickly they have passed. The dear one still allows me to hug and kiss and love on him. When it gets too much he says, "MOMmy!" but his tone tells me he really isn't complaining; he just notices how very much I love him, and I'm pretty sure he rather likes it because he hugs me back as he says it.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

He sighed in his sleep and pressed against me a bit, and I felt his little hand curl around my arm. Those irresistible little hands and fingers that I can't resist kissing. My heart swelled so full that I was sure it would explode from my chest.

* * * * * * * * * * * *

"Do you know how much I love you?" I ask him regularly at random when his preciousness overwhelms me. "SOOOOO MUCH!!!!!!" he answers. And don't you forget it, sweet boy child. Don't you ever, ever forget it! Not even when you are 38 years old. And then I imagine for a second what he will look like when he is 38, but that thought is too much and makes my heart heavy with ache. When I finally came to terms with him turning two years old, I begged Time to stop right there. It didn't, and so I watched him grow to three years old and told him often how that was quite old enough. Today as I hugged and kissed him and held him tight, I whispered in his ear, "I just can't believe my baby boy is four today!" and he whispered back, "I still feel like I'm three!" Thank God," I said to us both. After all, I'm in denial as well.


smiles4u said...

Happy Birthday to your boy. What beautiful words from a mother about her son. I understand that ache oh so well...feel it with my little ones now...and just so you know, that ache doesn't leave when they are big...when my youngest, who's 20, was last home for a short visit, when he would sit next to me, and rest his head on my shoulder, my heart ached with pride at having children that are so loving and at the thought that soon he would be gone again and my heart would ache at his absence.
You are so wise to enjoy every one of these moments with your beautiful children. They are so blessed to have a mom that treasures them this way! XX Lori

Riahli said...

Oh I so relate to how you feel...they just don't stop growing no matter how we beg them. My oldest is four and I've cried on his birthday every year because I just get so overwhelmed with such a mixture of emotions. I was hugging him last night and it hit me like a ton of bricks how much he has grown, how he looks like a little man now.

Happy birthday to your four year old big boy who will always be your baby. :)

Ed said...

I just had visions of the book, "Love You Forever". (I think that's what it's called.)

Happy Birthday Little--I mean--Big Man!

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