Friday, November 25, 2005

Testing Out the Baby Gear

We're getting all the baby gear ready again, and Zoe is really excited about trying it all out. She knows this is "Zachary's bed" but she likes to lie down in it and pretend to sleep. I look at her all crammed into the bassinet, feet hanging out the edge, and remember when we brought her home from the hospital a couple days old and put her in it for the first time. How is it possible? Now she is sleeping in a regular twin bed, which we just introduced to her yesterday. We left the crib up for her too, just in case. She was all excited about the new bed until I tried to leave her in it for her nap after lying down with her and reading some stories. She got concerned over the idea of napping in the new bed and pointed at the crib and said, "How about the brown bed?" So she napped in the crib yesterday.

I tried again with her at bedtime. I didn't push her, I just laid down with her in the bed and cuddled and talked with her awhile after turning out the lights. Then when I got up to go, she said, "No...no! Mommy, go to sleep with Zoe!" and I told her I had to go to "Mommy's bed." She then said, "Well, Mommy could lie down with Zoe and just be her friend!" I melted all over the place and fought back the tears again. After I cuddled and talked with her in her bed a little longer I got up to go, and this time it was okay (for her, but not entirely for me). I wanted it to be okay, but I also didn't want it to be okay. She went right to sleep. I refrained from checking in on her all night during my routine trips to the bathroom. When I peeked in on her this morning, she was all curled up at the top of the bed and looked way too little for the bed. I had to choke back the tears again. Why do they have to grow up?

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